10 reasons the WSJ says no to a Christmas iPad

By Tyler

6 responses. »

It’s sad when top tier organizations resort to link bait to get page views. It’s even more sad when that link bait is a recycled attack on Apple products and their many supporters. Seems Brett Arend and the Wall Street Journal are hurting a bit for traffic, so they published ten reasons why the current iPad would be a lousy Christmas gift.

His post did its job, which was apparently to prompt 20+ pages of comments. Too bad he and his employer probably associate popularity with page views. We REALLY need a better way to measure this stuff.

Brett Arend is an idiot, and here’s why (his original points in italics):

1. It’ll be cheaper next year.

No shit, Brett. Everything will, including the laptop I’m using, the TV we all have and the phones we use every day. It’s a common issue in the tech world where cost goes down as efficiency and manufacturing processes improve.

Look, it's the much-wanted but never going to happen 7-inch iPad!

2. It’s going to be better next year.
So is my car, my phone, my jeans, the shoes I have on and every video game and piece of tech hardware I’ve ever owned will be. We know the new iPad is rumored to be lighter, have cameras and include more capacity, but nothing has been confirmed. If you want or need it now, buy it now, just like every piece of tech ever invented.

3. Check out those profit margins!
Yes, it costs money to build quality products. Research and development isn’t cheap and why are profit margins an issue to you? I bet the people that pay Brett Arend’s salary sure wish they received higher quality stories so they could charge more for ads, but we all know his columns aren’t deserving of it.

4. Competitors are coming.
Just like the PC killed the Mac, Android/Pre/whatever killed the iPhone, the Nook killed the Kindle and the internet killed newspapers (okay, that last one might be kinda true) – er, wait. Competition means the iPad will get even more awesome and have you SEEN the competitors lately? They kinda suck.

5. No Flash.
I’d rather have improved battery life, smooth scrolling and cooler hardware than Flash. Note the iPhone doesn’t play Flash, either. This is a really tired argument and I’m sick of hearing it. The iPad will NEVER have Flash. Shut up about it.

6. The cost of the add-ons.
Like 3G service? Everyone charges for that. Do you consider a case an add-on? That’s about $50 and if you’re spending $500+ on a not-quite laptop replacement, I’m sure you can find another $50. Oh, and my phone company charges for 3G. No one bitches about that.

7. The games.
Yes, they’re fun. I’m sure they’re addicting. If you really expect anyone to believe this is the fault of the developers or the games themselves, you’re an idiot. Quality games are a good thing.

Actual comment from the actual WSJ article.

8. The waste.
While the iPad generates more waste than Brett Arend’s column unless we can get power usage on the server hit he knew he’d take when he went after Apple users, I bet it’s much better spent.

9. It’ll get boring.
Sure, a lot less slower than your stupid column. Any device is only as boring as what you do with it. If you’re a boring person with nothing to do, not a damn thing can help you. If you want to read, watch videos and communicate, then get something like an iPad. Or just get an iPad.

10. The whole Apple cult is starting to creep me out.
We don’t like you either. At all.

Merry Christmas!

About Tyler
Storyteller. Inspirator. Opens bananas like a monkey. Minimalist runner. Eliticist. Have my name on my shirt. Knows all the words to Baby Got Back.

6 Responses so far.

  1. @dong1225

    December 24, 2010 at 9:22 pm

    LMAO what an idiot.
    This article makes me wanna read that WSJ report.

    well I guess ill have to give them the traffic they so much wanted to get with this article. :P

    • tdhurst

      December 25, 2010 at 5:05 pm

      It's just the same, tired argument over and over again.

  2. Eisenmann

    December 25, 2010 at 3:26 am

    So this guy wrote something bad about the iPad. Lies! This is unacceptable! What if someone believes him? People might start thinking the device is not a flawless miracle and doubt its obvious superiority! Sales will go down to only millions a day! Our mission is in danger! They want to see us go down! How dare they take the piss out of our favorite company? We are the best! When will the rest of the world realize this and join us? Will they never learn? This is what happens when everyone is allowed to just write whatever they want! How is this kind of misleading content even allowed? It's like that comedian who said that her iPhone wasn't easy to use! We already told her you can't say stuff like that and now this? My Christmas is ruined.

    • tdhurst

      December 25, 2010 at 5:05 pm

      His article was much funnier than your comment.

  3. CK Paola

    January 4, 2011 at 1:04 am

    Loved your article! Keep up the good work.

    BTW… Who is reading the WSJ theses days?

  4. Dell

    February 24, 2012 at 1:52 am

    That’s a swherd answer to a tricky question

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