Worst Mac Review Ever*

By Tyler

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I know Macs and Apple products aren’t for everyone. People may not like Steve Jobs’s walled garden approach, they may have proprietary software that requires a Windows OS or they might be a power user who requires more control over their computer than most people find necessary.

But this review from Huffington Post may very well be the stupidest Mac review I’ve ever read. This guy is either a complete computer retard or his expectations for Macs were impossibly high. Either way, here are a few excerpts in italics, followed by my commentary.

Don't judge me, bro!

I had an article to write, but the only word processor I could find on my iMac was TextEdit, essentially a stripped-down version of Notepad. The program had an excellent array of font options, like “Bigger” and “Smaller.”

Dude, really? Microsoft Office doesn’t come free with anything, what makes you think it would come with your Mac? Also, if all you’re doing is writing, TextEdit works just fine for me.

Some headaches I expected. I knew that, unlike a PC, I wouldn’t be able to connect one computer to another and transfer over my documents. Instead I had to use my external hard drive, like a makeshift canoe, to migrate my articles, music and videos from one computer to the next.

This is complete BS. I’ve connected Mac to PC directly via ethernet cable or wirelessly through a router many times. Not the Mac’s fault this guy has very limited computer experience. Also, the Apple Store offers this as a complimentary service with new Mac purchase.

On my high-resolution iMac my 16-point lettering may have looked like normal size, but to the officials now receiving my letters, my emails must have looked like they were scribbled in the balloon-type of an eighth grade amateur.

Yeah, really sucks to have such a high-resolution screen. I can’t imagine how terrible that must be. Get some glasses, buddy.

The final straw came when Mac’s Firefox took me to my website. To my horror, all the spacing was askew, the graphics tossed left and right like the wreckage of a hurricane. I asked myself: As a web designer, how can I design web pages when I can’t see what 90 percent of my viewers are seeing?

Sounds like you coded your website for Internet Explorer only. Any web designer who doesn’t suck would have told you that’s an extremely stupid thing to do, and since IE’s market share is decreasing, that decision looks dumber by the minute.

Before I could complete Parallels’ installation, it asked for a copy of the Windows CD. I shook my head in disbelief: where the hell am I going to get a copy of the Windows CD? And if I need Windows to perform basic functions, why don’t I just get a PC with Windows already installed?

He’s kidding, right? It’s the Mac’s fault that it doesn’t come with a free copy of Windows?

*I realize the review was a joke, but aren’t we beyond this? And since when are Investigative Reporters comedians?

About Tyler
Storyteller. Inspirator. Opens bananas like a monkey. Minimalist runner. Eliticist. Have my name on my shirt. Knows all the words to Baby Got Back.

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